Zero Thinking

Hi everybody, how are you feeling? In the previous article, we discussed what is guilt and types of guilt. If you are struggling with guilt then let’s explore what are the underlining causes regarding it and how can we manage it?

 Guilt exists due to the fixed irrational belief that you should have known what might have happened in the future. They believe that you should have known in advance all the negative consequences. And the following thinking pattern that you should have made a different decision.

Since you cannot change the decision you made, you feel trapped can’t find any way out. You may find yourself revisiting the past and rewriting the script of the event. 

 You may also avoid meeting those whom you believe have been impacted by your decision or those who remind you of the effects of the decisions. Constantly trying to make up for the mistakes you believe you made can place immense stress on emotional wellbeing. You may consider or act out some self-harm attempts as you believe that the damage is irreparable. Or taking drugs or alcohol in an attempt to punish yourself. 

 To heal and manage guilt we need to have the following conversation with ourselves.

  1. To communicate with oneself and understand that we cannot anticipate what, if any, potentially negative consequences might ensue.
  2. You must challenge and change the negative thinking pattern. Thinking that avoiding people, places that remind you of the guilt or self-medicating with drugs or self-harm will not change the irrational belief of guilt you have. It will not change the negative outcome of which occurred due to the decision/s you took. Beating yourself up is not also a waste of time but unhealthy for your mental health. 
  3. Apply the CBT technique which is explained in detail in the previous articles 
  4. “Accepting” and understanding that there is no use of being angry or frustrated with oneself for being able to predict the future. 
  5. Being your authentic self and true to oneself and repeating this to yourself that “I took the decision which best of my intentions”. Moreover repeating that “I cannot control the outcome”. 

 I hope and pray that these small steps help you change the negative, irrational and unhealthy thinking patterns. If you feel that you need professional help, please feel free to reach out to femmerang team.

Zero Thinking

Hi everyone, hope you are doing well. Prayers for my readers who consciously make effort for their healing and well-being. Today we will be exploring another unhealthy negative emotion. This emotion can be very destructive and lead to self-harm as well. This emotion is linked with the emotion we discussed earlier in the articles, that is depression and anxiety. 

This negative emotion is called Guilt. It is wishful thinking that you could turn back the clock to change the outcome of few decisions you made in past. It makes you go through the loop of regret and remorse. What if I tell you that it is possible to release yourself from the guilt and restore your inner sense of peace? To release guilt we need to understand what guilt is and how it is created.

Guilt 

Guilt is an unhealthy negative emotion that carries this belief that something you have done has caused harm and distress to other person or people. It is a cycle of negative thinking in which we are unable to forgive ourselves for some action or behavior. So we beat ourselves up with the feeling of remorse and regret. 

 

Difference between guilt and shame

 

We earlier also explored the feeling of shame. People confuse shame with guilt. Shame is an internally felt emotion triggered by the risk of others finding out something about us and judging us negatively. Whereas guilt is more related to the consequences of actions that we have or have not taken and how these have impinged on others. 

 

Guilt is such a destructive emotion that has led to serious self-harm as the person sees no way out of the crisis of the guilt they have created. 

 

Let’s explore the top 5 common guilt triggers 

 

  1. Relationship Guilt: This may include one party having an affair or affairs often unknown to others. Spending too much time at work and not managing time with loved ones. Not visiting or keeping contact with an elderly person or relative who subsequently dies.
  2. Financial Guilt: Due to financial issues it leads us to make extremely poor decisions with disastrous consequences. 
  3. Abuse Guilt: You may feel guilty for not stopping or intervening in a past situation where someone close to you was being abused. 
  4. Accident Guilt: This guilt is a belief that you could have avoided some circumstances where another person was seriously injured or died as a result of an accident or mishap. 
  5. Survivor Guilt: This is common to those who survive an accident along with their family members/friends and they pass away. They feel that they could have died and their loved ones could have been alive. 

 

In the next article, we will explore how can we manage our emotion of guilt? So stay tuned and stay strong.