We analyzed some qualities of the two female characters, Bela and Esha from the Ramadan special, Ishq Jalebi. Find out which on are you by choosing either A or B!
□ A. Desi at heart
□ B. Videsi at heart
□ A. Early bird
□ B. Night owl
□ A. Bhalushai
□ B. Barfi
□ A. Timid
□ B. Expressive
□ A. Compliant
□ B. Stubborn
□ A. Work hard
□ B. Play hard
□ A. High school sweethearts
□ B. Love at first sight
□ A. Romantic
□ B. Practical
□ A. Naniyal (mum’s side)
□ B. Dadiyal (dad’s side)
□ A. Baking
□ B. Fashion designing
Mostly As: Bela
You are extremely loving and caring and always put others first. However, you find it difficult to express your feelings to others and get hurt when they do not understand you.
Mostly Bs: Esha
You are a free bird! No one can force you into doing anything. You live for adventures and want to explore the world. Nothing can change your mind once you’ve made it up!
Let us know what you got on Instagram, @femmerang!
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
Hello there everyone, we have not connected in a while. We have all been a little preoccupied, haven’t we? What have you guys been up to? What has kept you guys sane through this crazy and unpredictable time? Seem like an unending energy-sucking life force, doesn’t it? Can you tell me that I’ve been watching too much TV? Science fiction at that. We do what we can, right? Everyone has their own ways of dealing with whatever life throws at us.
Let’s talk about something a little bit happier. A little bit more positive that we CAN handle these unpredictable times. Ramadan is coming up. Actually, by the time you read this, we will be in the middle of this. We will be trying our best to be the best at what we should be striving towards every day no matter what month it is. This month comes for a reason. This month gives us hope to be better for a reason. Let’s make the best of it; we can try and not let the times that we are intake that away from us.
We talk about so many issues and problems with our website. We also talk about how to solve those problems. Here in this space, however, it’s just you and me talking about what I feel like I need to tell you about what I feel to be important information. This feels like one of those times.
Ramadan is definitely a time of bettering ourselves but it also a time of forgiveness. Not just for forgiving others, we need to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and for feeling like we don’t measure up. That feeling that we are not enough or that we could be better or doing more will always nag us but we can’t let that stop us from achieving what we need to.
I will tell you a personal story to help you understand what I mean. Some of you might be able to relate to it. I have a chronic illness because of which I am not able to fast. This puts me in a league of my own. When I say a “league of my own I mean a league of feeling completely inadequate and incomplete as a Muslim. Every year when Ramadan comes I try.
I wake up for Suhur, I adjust the timing for my medication according to the timing of the fast and within a day I am in a condition where either I have to break my fast or I barely make it through the first one. I keep trying throughout the month but it usually ends the same way. I know I cant fast and I have given up on being able to last a whole month. I’m lucky if I get a whole day. The guilt, however of not being able to do something that a natural part of people’s lives and an understood part of being a Muslim weighs on me.
Im here to tell everyone who is like me. Whether it’s because of a physical problem or because of a mental problem because those are just as valid, you are doing just fine and you are not alone. Also, forgive yourself so you can focus on the things that you can successfully do. The Ibada that is possible for us that can get us to the same level of everyone else wo fasts because we are just as devoted and committed to this month and to our connection with Allah.
Always remember this month is about strengthening our connection with Allah, as long we can do that in an honest way lets not hold ourselves back with our guilt and burden that was not given to us by the ONE that loves us and had created so much ease for us.
Let’s be real with ourselves and be real with our creator and let everything else fall in place. This month has a lot to give. Take it in whatever form its ready to give to us.
I hope some of this made sense and at least some of it was helpful.
Until next time, y’all look after yourselves ya hear?
I’ve watched my mother deal with a very abusive husband. He was a decent enough father, still is. But as a husband he was terrible. I am realizing now that he was terrible to my mother. He was loud, rude and sometimes even physically too rough with her. He was harsh with us siblings as well, but we just took it as tough love and moved on. Now that I’m married and have my own children, I see my father in myself when im upset with my children. I get angry, distant and I even hit them. My husband gets extremely disturbed when I act this way. Im otherwise a calm person and I love my family. That’s what my father has always claimed. He still does, not that I have or ever would confront him.
How do I deal with this? I don’t want to raise my kids scared of me. I don’t want them to grow up and feel the way I do about my father now.
Please help,
Aiza.
Dearest Aiza,
You are not going through anything uncommon. Usually when children grow up and start a family of their own is when they realize the dynamics of the relationship of their parents. A lot of the times the realization is not pleasant. We like to our parents through kid color perfect glasses, but they are human filled with flaws. In your case its even more true than ever.
The first step in healing is to recognize and accept the problem which you have done very well. However, it’s very common for children to knowingly or unknowingly mimic or model after their parents. You have unresolved issues towards your father and that comes out in the shape of you getting angry with your children.
You will have to work on those issues. Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your father and how openly you can discuss matters with him, talking to him and opening up with him about how you are feeling will surely help.
This won’t be easy because that generation is not too open to discuss anything.
Now, let’s talk about what you can do with your husband and children. Be open with your husband, tell him what you are feeling and going through if you haven’t already. Whenever you feel a bout of anger coming on step away from your children. Let your husband and other people (if possible) handle it. If you have to be there, take a deep breath and count to ten, then go into the situation with a fresh mind. Train yourself to think that no matter what they are doing in the moment to annoy you or bother you is nothing compare to the lasting effects of misplaced anger.
Gradually counting, breathing before reacting, walking away from a situation when you have the option to will become a common practice. Depending on the children’s ages you can discuss how you are trying to control your anger and how it is not okay to make anyone feel unsafe. This will make them understand your side and more open to you when you try to control yourself in the next situation.
These are just some initial steps, even this is going to take a lot from you. It is hard work but I can tell that you are committed and you care about your family. Your love and concern for them will get you through this.
If you need to talk more or need more help please feel free to keep contacting us and we will confidentially help you.
With three new TV shows airing in Ramadan, we are in love with Chupke Chupke starring Ayeza Khan & Osman Khalid Butt, which makes us convulse with laughter with each episode.
We are giving you our top-5 reasons to watch this show!
Meenu ki tabahee!
Meet Meenu, the clumsiest girl ever! We see our protagonist Meenu AKA Ayeza Khan casually, distractedly breaking things around house. Wherever she goes, trouble follows. From breaking lamp while wearing her bag or dropping sugar, tealeaves on the floor or tripping and what not, we have seen it all. Despite her gracelessness, she melts our hearts with her innocence and of course, the pet dialogue “Meenu larki tu bari cool hai…ye dunya badi fazool hai”!
The sautan-battle:
So apparently, the story revolves around two houses whose matriarchs are co-wives of the leads’ (deceased) dadajee. Their never-ending rivalry becomes a competition of everything from likes on social media to whose grandson will get married first. We love the dadi-conflict and how they pull each other’s leg!
CBA debut:
Chupke Chupke is a treat for CBA army who were waiting for Arsalan Naseer’s on-screen debut. Followers of his YouTube videos love how his subtle (yet on point) comedy cracks us up. He did not fail to impress us with his debut performance and made us fall in love with Hadi. Also, how can one miss the iconic ‘bhae wah’, which is something all his fans were looking forward to!?
Kifayat ki kanjoosi:
If there’s one character that has fab screen presence it is Kifayat AKA Farhan Ali Agha. The owner of poultry farm and ever so stingy! He needs hisaab kitaab of every petty expense, has a habit of turning off lights at home (to save money) and is all-time worried about bills. His wife, Kaneez, the ultimate clean freak, played by the elegant Tara Mehmood and his mother, the social media addict, played by Asma Abbas are frustrated! But we love how he leaves no opportunity to save up!
Gul & Miskeen’s chemistry:
We have been seeing a culture of ghar-jamai in Pakistani dramas these days and it thrills us to see how the roles have been switched. The husband has taken over the domestic responsibilities, an unusual situation. In Chupke Chupke, Gul-e-Rana (mira Sethi) and Miskeen’s (Ali Safina) couple has our heart. No matter how much Gul fights with her husband, we see her blushing when someone mentions their couple. Somewhere in-between the nok-jhok and Miskeen’s weirdness, their love exists. Their on-screen chemistry is thriving!
Let us know which Ramadan show you have been following on Instagram @femmerang!
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
One of the Ramadan shows, Tanaa Banaa starring Daniyal Zafar and Alizeh Shah is all about the post-marriage life of an ambitious young girl and shows her struggles to balance her studies and home. Here are three such realities that have really stood out for us!
The unhappy saas:
“Dus din k liye tum Zoya ko apni beti samjho aur Zain ko damaad, phir dekhna, tumhe Zain mei khamiyan aur Zoya mei khoobiyan nazar anay lagengi!”
Zoya’s (Alizeh Shah) mother-in-law is not happy. While in search of a perfect bahu ‘jo pura ghar sambhalegi’ she found one who wanted to study ahead and complete her MBA. Zoya’s husband, Zain (Daniyal Zafar) fully supports her and that frustrates the MIL even more. Sounds familiar? How many times are girls forced to let go of their dreams and aspirations to fulfill the expectations of their in-laws, even when there are ways out? Countless. Even when Zoya tries to help out in the kitchen, the saas finds flaws in her work and yells at her for petty mistakes.
The need to justify doing something for your wife:
In a typical joint family, it is easy to get labelled as ‘joru ka gulaam’ if a husband extends help to his wife or goes out of his way for his wife’s comfort. And this is not connotated positively, sadly. In one of the episodes, we saw Zain making up excuses for ordering pizza for his wife who he had upset earlier, trivial but significant. Even when he allowed his wife to study further, his family got offended because he didn’t tell them earlier. Zain is also a constant victim of sarcasm and taunts when he does not bat an eye when Zoya asks him for something. His love being repeatedly degraded to submissiveness to his life partner!
Uncertainties of a woman:
How saddening is it to see a girl making his future husband sign a contract before marriage, as per which, he will not only allow her to study but also not force her to work at home after studies (which would compromise her results). Is it the lack of trust or the fear a woman has before marrying that all her dreams will be crushed? It’s not surprising because this mindset exists in every other desi household where a girl is stuck between ‘shaadi ke baad karlena’ and ‘shaadi pehle karlena tha’. The pressures from married life (which in itself should ideally be very beautiful), leaves a girl hanging in between.
But, this drama is just not about the sad realities but also highlights what we should be doing as a society! Here are two of our favorite instances!
Everyone needs appreciation:
Part of the reason for Zoya’s MIL’s frustration was the lack of appreciation from her family. Let alone her birthday that no one remembers, no one has ever been grateful to her for all the work she does rather consider it as her duty. We were brought to tears (of joy) when Zoya surprises her with a bouquet and gift as a token of gratitude.
Husband helping out his wife:
Shahid phupa (Hasan Noman Qureshi) is our favorite character because unlike other male characters, he is not afraid to express love for his wife. He feels no shame in ironing her clothes or helping in the kitchen on behalf of her. He gives her surprises on her birthdays (and she always knows there will be one) and encourages her to work as per her wishes. We all stan Shahid Phupa – he is the new benchmark for ideal husbands!
Are you watching Tanaa Banaa? Let us know your thoughts on Instagram @femmerang!
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
1. Live life as or bring to life, your favorite character from the Urdu novel, for a day?
Live life as favorite character
Bring to life a favorite character
2. Have no biryani or no chai for the rest of your life?
No biryani
No chai
3. Go on a family vacation to Muree or travel solo to Dubai?
Family vacay
Travel solo
4. Have the parlour-wali ruin your haircut or your brows?
Haircut
Brows
5. Have unconcerned relatives who don’t give Eidi or nosy relatives who give Eidi above 10K (each)?
Unconcerned with no Eidi
Nosy with 10K+ Eidi
6. Never get invited to family weddings or have no one attend your wedding?
Never getting invited
No one attending your wedding
7. Never have to pay delivery charges or always get early access to new collections/sales of your favorite brand?
Free shipping
Early access
8. Eat daal chawal every day or never have daal chawal ever in your life?
Everyday
Never
9. Be forced to talk to relatives on call for one hour daily or forced to visit them for half an hour daily?
Talk on call
Visit them
10. Watch one Pakistani drama you don’t like over and over again or never watch movies in your life?
Watch same drama
No movies ever
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
Do you really want to read a book based on your favorite colour and not sure about which book you should pick up next? Check out the below recommendations based on what your favorite colour signifies!
1. Black: Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo:
Colour significance: Power, death and evil
Those who love the color black tend to love dark academia – a concept that involves literature about themes such as death and Goth. Ninth House is a classic example of this genre with the protagonist having the ability to see ghosts and Yale’s secret societies practicing dark magic. A murder, a suspect, and another side to the story; Ninth House will keep you at the edge!
2. White:To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han:
Colour significance: Innocence and goodness
Want to lighten up the mood? Then, this should be your next pick. You will cherish the sweet moments and chemistry development between Lara-Jean and Peter Kavinskyas the love letters from Lara’s childhood, kept inside her hatbox are mysteriously sent to all her crushes. The kind of book you’d finish in one sitting!
3. Blue: Reclaim Your Heart by YasminMogahed:
Colour significance: Wisdom and inspiration
A much-celebrated author back with an inspiring novel – Reclaim Your Heart is the perfect cure to a wounded heart or distressed mind. Mogahed’s thought-provoking words of wisdom, backed with religious (Quranic)affirmations will evoke hope and give undesirable situations a positive perspective.
4. Pink: Field Notes On Love by Jennifer E. Smith:
Colour significance: Romance and charm
With an abundance of romance novels, it is difficult to come up with a unique story that manages to hold your attention. Field Notes On Love won’t disappoint. Hugo and Mae, strangers who come together on a train journey, will restore your faith in love and won’t let that smile disappear till the novel reaches its end.
5. Purple: Heartless by Marissa Meyer:
Colour significance: Royalty and ambition
There’s a king and there’s an ambitious baker who doesn’t want to marry the king. An odd fairytale that dates back to the time before Alice in Wonderland, Heartless is about a girl who wants to live her passion and fall in love. Will she surrender to her parents’ wishAKA become the next queen of Hearts or fight for her dream?
6. Red: Illuminae by Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff:
Colour significance: War, danger, and passion
Did someone say space war and artificial intelligence? An unusual futuristic novel, written in the form of memos, emails, digital conversations, and interviews, Illumiaeis a complete package for all sci-fi fanatics. The inside is equally beautiful as the orange glossy cover, with special black pages allocated to the AI and diary entries.
Kady Grant tells the story of the space war (although not a first-person narration) of the year 2575, which is also the classified record of the war itself. While the book is primarily sci-fi, there’s a romantic angle to it as well. The story continues in two more books following Illuminae, making it a trilogy.
7. Yellow: Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell:
Colour significance: Happiness and positivity
Cath writes Simon Snow fanfiction and her work is massively read and appreciated. But what happens when she goes to college, accompanying her twin sister, and leaves behind her old life? Will she be able to keep a balance between academics and her passion or will she have to make a choice?
Full of life, Fangirl is a rollercoaster ride, where you’ll experience the ups and downs with Cath, find love, and live life as a true fangirl. Also, enjoy snippets from the Simon Snow saga after every other chapter!
8. Green: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett:
Colour significance: Nature and freshness
If you really love to read a book then read this novel for its wonderful character growth and development. Mary, an arrogant little girl changes completely when she finds an enchanted ‘secret garden’ at her new guardian’s house. Although it’s a children’s classic, people of every age would enjoy this celebration of magic and friendship. Bonds created based on secrets that will stay with you forever!
9. Orange: Kafka On The Shore by Haruki Murakami:
Colour significance: Fascination and determination
Magical realism is the genre not everyone enjoys but Murakami’s works are undoubtedly enjoyable for everyone. Two tales simultaneously move forward only to intertwine at one point. This book is nothing less than a masterpiece with eerie situations and strong imageries.
10. Brown: It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover:
Colour significance: Loneliness and isolation
It ends with us is not an unhappy book per se but sheds light upon some of the crucial issues of our society, which need to be discussed. Lily’s story is not uncommon yet beautifully portrayed by Colleen Hoover.
We give them the power to hurt us to those we love and that’s the price for love Lily had to pay, every single time. Despite life being difficult on her, she didn’t lose hope and kept ongoing. This novel is a great message of courage for everyone battling and struggling in life.
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
Winner of the 2020 (Goodreads) Best Fiction Award, THE MIDNIGHT LIBRARY BY MATT HAIG is one book you should definitely read once in your lifetime (no pun intended). Here are the top 5 lessons I learnt after completing this beautiful novel.
P.S: Contains spoilers!
1. Do not regret over what did not happen!
We all at some point regret certain decisions that we made and think about how life would have been different if we did not make them. But what is the guarantee that not making those decisions would lead to a more satisfactory outcome?
When Nora selected instances from her Book of Regrets, trying to fix those decisions (her marriage with Dan, being a responsible cat owner, chasing her dreams and so on), she realized that she was still not ‘happy’. Dan was not the ideal husband, Volts was not the fittest cat any way and its death was inevitable, and her dreams costed lives of her loved ones. Fame and success came with a heavy price too.
So, just go with the flow and do not cry over what did not happen because chances are you are living your best life already (with just some tweaking required)!
2. There is no ‘perfect’ life!
The final life that Nora entered made her believe that it is the life she yearned. A loving husband, gorgeous daughter, no financial pressure – a dream come true!
However, she still found herself returning back to the midnight library (which meant she was disappointed with that life, deep down). But why?
That was the life Nora had borrowed or stolen from her other self in this multiverse not the one she created by herself, for herself. We cannot be handed a utopian life rather, we take our existing one and make it beautiful through our efforts!
3. Don’t judge and react to quickly!
Nora thought her long lost friend, Izzy was ignoring her, Leo no longer required her piano lessons, and her brother still blamed her for leaving the band. All this bottled up and compelled her to overdose and take her own life.
When her experience with her other lives made her appreciate life, she realized she was too quick to judge. Izzy was just caught up with ‘thesis antithesis synthesis’ but was delighted to see her text and wanted to catch up, Doreen was guilty for not letting Leo have piano lessons and wanted Nora to continue, and her brother had no grudges against her, after all.
So do not make rushed decisions based on temporary emotions! Give people and life a chance – you never know in what ways you are surprised!
4. Kindness is what the world needs!
Kindness multiplies. Nora imagined Mrs. Elm in the midnight library because she was the only one who was kind to her (as far as she remembers) and comforted Nora when her father died.
Nora reciprocated that little act of kindness by reassuring Mrs. Elm, later in life when she had given up after a failed marriage. So be kind to someone and you never know when that kindness returns and spreads!
5. Do not give up (no matter what)!
Instead of giving up try to amend! If Nora had given up she would have missed out on love, friendship, family, career and so much more. Her willingness to simply live fixed everything that went wrong. Gave her the confidence that there is nothing that cannot be amended with a little effort – conversing and acting upon. Live your life as per this mantra and you shall never give up on life!
If you have read this book, let us know your thoughts @femmerang on Instagram!
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
What do we normally see in Pakistani dramas? Saas-bahu rivalries? Sisters fighting over one guy? Are lovers not marrying each other?
If no one else, writer Imran Nazir realized that we do not need to see more of these issues on our screens & penned down a fabulous drama like Ghissi Pitti Mohabbat. The drama is as unusual and unconventional as its name and here’s why everyone needs to watch this show!
1. Aurat ki chaar (4) shaadiyan?
Yes! The story revolves around a woman who marries 4 times. Not a man. A woman. How intriguing! But is the Pakistani audience from a fairly backward society, ready to see and accept a ‘woman’ in such a situation?
2. Bhaag kar shaadi!
It’s not new to see lovers eloping, in our dramas, but what’s not common is to see the kind of reaction we saw in GPM. Sooner than expected, both sides accepted their marriage & they started living a normal life at the boy’s house. No continuous ‘loug kya kahenge’ taunts or violence in the name of honor!
3. Aurat ki asli jagah kitchen hi hai’
Whoever said this has not met Naheed Sahab, who proved everyone who thinks that women belong in the kitchen, wrong. Not only do we see Saifie Hassan AKA Naheed as a dutiful husband (fear or love, we don’t know) but also as a brilliant cook & a great retired homemaker.
4. Farmabardar bahu?
Gone are the days when we used to see obedient & naïve daughters-in-law in our dramas, especially if she is the main lead. Samia Anwar is the kind of bahu every Pakistani saas fears. She isn’t disrespectful but also not the kind who would suffer in silence and not complain about injustices and constant criticisms by her saas. We also see GPM normalizing a woman giving her income to her side of the family. A change we definitely need!
We are super excited to see what more GPM has in store for us! It’s great to see how we are progressing from our old school mindset and depicting the changes needed in our society, in mass media! Hoping to see the drama making the impact it deserves!
Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.
Hi, how are you doing? Hope you are doing well. In the previous article, we discussed what is anxiety and the difference between fear and anxiety.
In today’s article, we will explore types of anxiety and end with a small exercise in which you need to identify what type of anxiety you face.
So let’s get started.
Commonly there are three types of anxiety
Acute Anxiety
This is when you find yourself suffering from sudden fear or panic. Experiencing physical symptoms like heart palpations, shaking, sweating, dry mouth, muscle tension, fast shallow breathing. An example of acute anxiety can be phobias.
Social Anxiety
It’s a condition in which one can become anxious and fearful where they have to socially interact with friends, strangers, or mostly a group. Or the anxiety one feels when they have to perform in front of people.
General Anxiety
This relates to a person who is emotionally anxious as they are worried about what might happen in the future. They believe that they will be unable to cope with all the awful things that will happen to them. Thinking that they might be a failure. Its physical symptoms may include fatigue, sleep difficulties, nightmares, teeth grinding, and poor cognition.
If you are struggling with anxiety, you need to identify which type of anxiety you usually feel. The good news is that anxiety is treatable and manageable.
To find out how anxiety is treatable, I request you to take some time out and figure out what type of anxiety you have. In the next article, we will explore panic attacks and phobias and later find out techniques to treat anxiety. Till then stay strong.
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