Hi everyone, I am sure you all are doing well. And I am hoping that you all are taking care of yourself in this holy month. I call it the special self-care month. Why? Because we make sure or at least try to do those activities that we were designed to do. We truly tap into ourselves and listen to our souls.

 

And in the process of finding yourself, do you ever feel that no one understands you? or loves you? And you feel super alone? If you are in a crowd YET you feel isolated? If YES then this article will help you to know yourself better.

 

Today we will try to understand one unhealthy and most common emotion that is loneliness. We come into this world through connection. We come into this world by receiving security and connection from our mothers. We cannot understand the difference between them and ourselves as it’s a state of oneness. So it never occurs to us to ask ourselves the big question that “Who am I? And as we grow up and separate we feel alone.

 

Let us take a moment to appreciate yourself if you dare to ask this question to yourself. The big question that “Who am I?” That means you did experience detachment or separation that lead you to ask yourself. Which made you feel lonely, alone, or isolated.

 

What is loneliness?

To understand loneliness, we need to understand separation. Separation is the heart of all loneliness. In simpler words, separation takes place when we start to differentiate and recognize self-vs. others. Which is the birthplace of ego. Disconnecting with oneself, causes us to separate off from certain parts of ourselves. When we reject or disown parts of ourselves we feel intense loneliness and isolation and rejection within us feel.

 

Loneliness as two further components is Shame and Fear which we will discover in the next article.

 

MASTERCHEF QUIZ

PART 2

 

 

Calling out all the Queens of Kitchen to take this two-part series quiz! If you’ve taken the first quiz, then it’s time to test your desi cuisine knowledge by answering the below food GK questions.  Let us know your score on Instagram @femmerang.

 

1. Which province is ‘sajji’ originally from?
   
   

 

 

1. KPK
2. Balochistan
3. Punjab

 

2. Which of the following is the main in the Kashmiri cuisine?
   
   

 

 

1. Flatbread
2. Lentils
3. Rice

 

 

 

3. Kabuli Pulao, from Aghan cuisine are popular in which ethnicity?
   
   

 

 

1. Saraiki
2. Brahui
3. Pashtun

 

4. Which of the following is not a pickle?
   
   

 

 

1. Tomato
2. Lemon
3. Carrot

 

5. What kind of naan is shown in the below picture?
   
   

 

 

1. Roghni
2. Taftan
3. Kandahari

 

6. Which halwa is this?
   
   

 

 

1. Sooji
2. Hubshee
3. Sohan

 

7. Which dish originates from Mughal era?
   
   

 

 

1. Qorma
2. Nihari
3. Haleem

 

8. Which continent is paye from?
   
   

 

 

1. Balochistan
2. Punjab
3. Sindh

 

9. Which dish is not originally from Kalash cuisine?
   
   

 

 

1. Capoti
2. Mos au
3. Dampukht

 

10. Which famous fish is from Sindh?
    
    

 

 

1. Palla
2. Salmon
3. Mackerel

 

Answers:

 

1. Balochistan	6. Sohan
2. Rice	7. Qorma
3. Pashtun	8. Punjab
4. Tomato	9. Dampukht
5. Kandahari naan	10. Palla

 

If you got:

 

0-4: You need to revisit the desi cuisine!

5-7: You are quite familiar with the desi cuisine!

8-10: You are a pro, ruling the kitchen & GK!

 

Sanya Mithani is a content writer at Femmerang. She’s a lifestyle Instagram blogger passionate about books. Follow her on Instagram @bookshelf.and.closet.

 

Hello there everyone, we have not connected in a while. We have all been a little preoccupied, haven’t we? What have you guys been up to? What has kept you guys sane through this crazy and unpredictable time? Seem like an unending energy-sucking life force, doesn’t it? Can you tell me that I’ve been watching too much TV? Science fiction at that. We do what we can, right? Everyone has their own ways of dealing with whatever life throws at us.

Let’s talk about something a little bit happier. A little bit more positive that we CAN handle these unpredictable times. Ramadan is coming up. Actually, by the time you read this, we will be in the middle of this. We will be trying our best to be the best at what we should be striving towards every day no matter what month it is. This month comes for a reason. This month gives us hope to be better for a reason. Let’s make the best of it; we can try and not let the times that we are intake that away from us.

We talk about so many issues and problems with our website. We also talk about how to solve those problems. Here in this space, however, it’s just you and me talking about what I feel like I need to tell you about what I feel to be important information. This feels like one of those times.

Ramadan is definitely a time of bettering ourselves but it also a time of forgiveness. Not just for forgiving others, we need to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and for feeling like we don’t measure up. That feeling that we are not enough or that we could be better or doing more will always nag us but we can’t let that stop us from achieving what we need to.

I will tell you a personal story to help you understand what I mean. Some of you might be able to relate to it. I have a chronic illness because of which I am not able to fast. This puts me in a league of my own. When I say a “league of my own I mean a league of feeling completely inadequate and incomplete as a Muslim. Every year when Ramadan comes I try.

I wake up for Suhur, I adjust the timing for my medication according to the timing of the fast and within a day I am in a condition where either I have to break my fast or I barely make it through the first one. I keep trying throughout the month but it usually ends the same way. I know I cant fast and I have given up on being able to last a whole month. I’m lucky if I get a whole day. The guilt, however of not being able to do something that a natural part of people’s lives and an understood part of being a Muslim weighs on me.

Im here to tell everyone who is like me. Whether it’s because of a physical problem or because of a mental problem because those are just as valid, you are doing just fine and you are not alone. Also, forgive yourself so you can focus on the things that you can successfully do. The Ibada that is possible for us that can get us to the same level of everyone else wo fasts because we are just as devoted and committed to this month and to our connection with Allah.

Always remember this month is about strengthening our connection with Allah, as long we can do that in an honest way lets not hold ourselves back with our guilt and burden that was not given to us by the ONE that loves us and had created so much ease for us.

Let’s be real with ourselves and be real with our creator and let everything else fall in place. This month has a lot to give. Take it in whatever form its ready to give to us.

I hope some of this made sense and at least some of it was helpful.

Until next time, y’all look after yourselves ya hear?

Ma salama

Mahvish Akhtar

1. Talk, be prepared to talk your heart out about your feelings and emotions, that is how your therapist will know how to help you and move forward.
2. Overwhelmed, you may experience an over whelming feeling before, during or even after sessions, because of the things you and your therapist talk about so give yourself time to let it sink in or even process those feelings and let your therapist know of it.
3. Ask questions, you may have questions, don’t hesitate to ask those questions even if it is about your own progress or even ask your therapist to help you review your sessions.
4. Team process, the only way therapy will work is if you make it work, it is an active process between the patient and psychologist so be ready to put in the effort.
5. Its confidential, whatever you and your therapist discuss will remain between you two, with a few exceptions which the therapist will initially tell you, but remain confident and don’t hold back something that you keep because in the long run that may be the reason why you are not making progress.
6. Not every therapist is the same, you may decide that a particular therapist does not suit your needs or is not compatible and that is perfectly fine, usually an initial free consultation is for this purpose to get to know the tone between two people and then continue.
7. There is no cure, Mental illness is different than any other illness because it simply does not go away with just a pill, it requires constant effort that you put towards yourself as well as your therapist’s efforts to help you give guidelines, on how you can improve.
8. Aha moments , you may have some real AHA moments where you realize how some things can be done differently with your thoughts and behaviour which in turn can also positively impact your physical health as well.
9. It does get better, some days you may feel that you’re not getting anything out of it but the work that you and your psychologist put into the sessions will pay off. So, don’t let it discourage you.
10. Your therapist will not give you advice, psychologist are not trained to give you advice rather they objectively conceptualize and help you overcome the spots in yourself that you do not see and that in turn will help you make more sound decisions in your life, but if your going to ask a psychologist what you should do than you are out of luck!